Friday, September 4, 2009

Writer's Block

I cannot sleep and I have writer's block.  Do you ever have so much drama in your life that it's difficult to process?  Things so dark, you can't talk about them and feel you must keep up a happy face?  This post has little to do with parenting, free-range or otherwise, and more to do with my own need to get some things out of my system so I can be funny again.  It's been so long since I laughed until I cried, I fear the lines around my eyes will disappear, and not in a good way.  No one likes a complainer, so I've been keeping things to myself.  The problem there is that my own head is not a good outlet, and I am sheer misery to be around lately.  Witty comebacks?  I got nothin'.  Clever repartee?  Nope.  Here is a short list of the reasons why, and if you know me, I could really use a hug the next time we meet.  It's funny that some of you believe I am confident with a life to be envied - it's all smoke and mirrors.  Here's the whine:

1.  My husband is cheating again.
2.  My brother is going to prison for 2-3 years in Montana.
3.  Because of the above, my mother is a mess and must be consoled daily.
4.  I am heartbroken that I am no longer homeschooling, even though I know it's for the best.
5.  My dearest friend has medical issues that may or may not be resolved.
6.  I have a perpetual lump in my throat, despite crying most nights.

Whine over.  It feels good to write these things down, and I hope none of you readers find offense or feel uncomfortable.  Here's hoping for some positives to come down the pike!  Thanks for listening, and I promise to keep smiling in public, as a well-bred girl should.


  1. Dear Courtney,
    I would like to thik that you know that you always have a friend in me no matter how redneck or assinine I become. God bless and you are in my thoghts. Stay strong,

  2. (((Courtney))) Wishing you a few nights' rest and some sunny days.

    Short of that, a bottle of Three Olives vodka, a strapping pool boy, and a winning lottery ticket - none of which would help resolve any of your big issues, but certainly would put a different light on them!

  3. Courtney,

    I've been thinking about you a lot and would love to connect. Looking forward to talking with you soon.

    Lorna (in NC)