Friday, September 4, 2009

Writer's Block

I cannot sleep and I have writer's block.  Do you ever have so much drama in your life that it's difficult to process?  Things so dark, you can't talk about them and feel you must keep up a happy face?  This post has little to do with parenting, free-range or otherwise, and more to do with my own need to get some things out of my system so I can be funny again.  It's been so long since I laughed until I cried, I fear the lines around my eyes will disappear, and not in a good way.  No one likes a complainer, so I've been keeping things to myself.  The problem there is that my own head is not a good outlet, and I am sheer misery to be around lately.  Witty comebacks?  I got nothin'.  Clever repartee?  Nope.  Here is a short list of the reasons why, and if you know me, I could really use a hug the next time we meet.  It's funny that some of you believe I am confident with a life to be envied - it's all smoke and mirrors.  Here's the whine:

1.  My husband is cheating again.
2.  My brother is going to prison for 2-3 years in Montana.
3.  Because of the above, my mother is a mess and must be consoled daily.
4.  I am heartbroken that I am no longer homeschooling, even though I know it's for the best.
5.  My dearest friend has medical issues that may or may not be resolved.
6.  I have a perpetual lump in my throat, despite crying most nights.

Whine over.  It feels good to write these things down, and I hope none of you readers find offense or feel uncomfortable.  Here's hoping for some positives to come down the pike!  Thanks for listening, and I promise to keep smiling in public, as a well-bred girl should.